I’m a straight forward person. My intentions are always laid out on the table. No ulterior motives, no games, just straight up. I expect the same from people.
If you’re gonna beat around the bush and try to pull some silly ass game, please go find someone else. Ain’t nobody got time fo dat.
I think that’s the toughest struggle. That inner confusion you know? Because there’s so many emotions that you don’t even know exist until you’re exposed to them. It’s like you have to go through life experiences to know how to handle some things the next time you encounter them. It’s really fucked up because you’re just kinda left out there in the cold the first time. Down and not knowing what to do. Like what the fuck you know? Where am I supposed to go from here? And you go through that shit for a long time. Then, when you’re finally okay, you’re slapped with another. That’s what’s fucked up about life, you go through shit, a whole lot of stinky ass shit and what’s the prize after going through all this? You die. It’s like okay, I’m done fucking with you, you can die now. What the actual fuck?
I guess it’s just easy to fall back into familiar things. Even when it’s not always the best for you. It’s sort of like an addiction you’re trying to quit, you get withdrawals and from time to time you have relapses. I mean it’s unavoidable, but you have to fight it because you know better and you don’t want to end up in the same situations. You don’t want to turn that mistake into a choice, mistakes only happen once.
Seriously man, I stuck up for you plenty of times. I always tell people that you’re not as bad as you seem. Even when it made me look bad I didn’t care because I thought you’ve never done me wrong and just because a lot of people that I’m cool with doesn’t like you I didn’t feel the need to have to as well.
I’m the type to stick up for my friends even when everyone disagrees I never give in. I base my judgments on how an individual treats me not on what I hear. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, now I just feel stupid, betrayed. You just make me sick. I’m done, seriously done sticking up for you. I’m just done with you.
People sometimes man.
I would never want to just exist. I will always make sure that I’m living. Not by doing stupid things, but by doing things that will live longer than my physical being. That will live through others.
I refuse to give up. I refuse to lose, I refuse to give in to these tough times and I refuse to fall under the pressure. I’m gonna keep trying because I still believe that things will get better. I just have to keep reminding myself that tough times don’t last, tough people do.
The best Friday nights are the ones spent with you, in between four walls doing and talking about random things, play fighting and the cuddle make up. They totally beat the drunken nights and waking up with a hang over. Your kisses are way better, yes even with morning breath.
I know how cynical this sounds but sometimes I wish I had died young so I never had to experience growing up. I don’t know what I was in such a rush for, this sucks.
The more you tell someone how much they mean to you, the more they’ll take you for granted.
Sometimes I wonder how some people can make ugly faces and still look cute as fuck while I stand in front of the mirror all scared for it to break.
There’s always gonna be that point in everything you try or work hard to do where you ask yourself if you should just give up or keep going. Like I always say we’re only human, we have our weak moments. The quickest way to determine if you should or not though, for me at least, is to see if you’re getting something out of it or how far you’ve gone with it. Everything that requires effort are usually beneficial, if it isn’t then you’re just wasting your time.
I’m only human, as much as I wanna make myself think that I’m strong and I can handle everything I have my off days. There are just those days that everything just feels so unbearable and you feel so lonely and weak at the same time. Sure, I try; I always try to make it seem like everything’s okay, that I’m okay that I’m happy all the time and what not just to avoid questions and having to explain myself to people. I don’t even know how to put it into words but it just sucks when you’re alone because it eats you up inside. You try but it just gets to you and you can’t help but break down.
I’m not one to call someone and cry my eyes out, I like to keep things to myself when it comes to shit like this. I just wish I had some sort of output or a way of venting things out. I guess this is one? Blah