Veritas Vos Liberabit.

Hi I'm Jeremi. Instagram: @jeremi

ASK AWAY

Theme by: iamadek

That moment when you put so much emotions and feelings into something you’re saying to someone and it just gets completely disregarded.

It’s like a mini stab in the chest. Goodnight.

People usually want you to give up not because they think it’s wrong or they have your best interest in mind, most of the time they’re just jealous because they can’t have what you do.

Don’t let them take it away, listen to your heart and what you know is right. They base their judgements on jealousy and assumptions, they don’t really know shit.

You’ll more likely to know what to do when you’re down and you know why. It sucks when you’re down for no particular reason, you know just one of those just because moments, you don’t know why so you don’t know what to do. You’re just stuck there sitting down trying to keep yourself busy, waiting for it to go away since there’s really nothing much you can do.

I have a hard time getting over infidelities. It’s like you forgive them but you just can’t get it out of your head. Suddenly you have flashes of scenarios in your that most likely didn’t even happen, but just the thoughts coming in and out slowly kills you. It doesn’t just break your heart but drops your self esteem too. That feeling of being inadequate for someone, I think everyone has that fear though, the fear of not being enough and it’s not the easiest fear to face. It stays for a while, it really messes you up badly.

I guess it’s true, once you let someone know how much they mean to you they get comfortable and treat you less than they should thinking they won’t lose you.

Sometimes the truth just makes everything seem like a lie, and when they call you babe again you don’t know if you should respond because you’re not really sure if it’s you or one of the other ones.

One thing I have to say though is be faithful, always, even if they’re not. At least when it comes down to it you can say you did your part and they can’t blame you for anything.

Five years and five days ago I landed in LAX from the Philippines. Crazy how much have changed since then. I remember getting kicked out of my aunt’s house with nowhere to go and only twenty bucks in my mom’s pocket, walking three miles from work almost every night because the bus stops running after ten then waking up early to walk two miles to school every morning.

I felt so lost like a fish out of water, if it weren’t for my family I probably would’ve gone crazy. It was a little too much, finding a place for you to fit in, in a world that’s completely different from what you’re used to and trying to get comfortable with your sexuality at the same time.

Took me a while to adjust. I got a long with everyone in my high school here but I wasn’t really considered cool. I didn’t even know who to hang out with at lunch. Finally things changed for the better, I worked really hard for where I am now, I know its still not close to where I wanna be nor far from where I was but its a step. Driving my second car under my name and having great friends and and insanely handsome boyfriend, what more can I really ask for? I mean financial issues, that can always be worked on. 

Sometimes I drive by where I used to walk and work and just catch myself smiling. Its like I see myself walking, looking at cars passing by wishing one day I’d be one of the people driving by glancing at you wondering where you’re going and how you’re able to walk in such weather condition.

Nothing ever comes easy for me, its been like that my whole life but I tell ya, hard work really does pay off. There are some people that good things just happen to and then there are some who just makes it happen.

I don’t think I give myself enough credit, but looking back, especially with how many people were pulling me down I think I did pretty well.  

When someone does me wrong, although jealousy gets the best of me, anger never leads to the person involved. I always just end up feeling down, inadequate and mad at myself for being a fool.

Why can’t I just have someone that’ll be faithful and wont be lookin’ for someone else behind my back? I mean I know I’m not all that great but I do try my best to be the best that I can ever be, for myself and someone that I’m with. It just seems as if no matter how much I do and how hard I try it just can never be enough, for anyone. They’ll always end up looking left and right when I’m not there blocking their sight. They claim to be yours like a dog and its master but when they see what treats someone has to offer they go running after.

I guess this is what happens when you let your guard down and you make it obvious, they will feel comfortable and put you aside thinking if they make a mistake you’ll just let it slide. Don’t get me wrong, I rarely fully fall for someone, but when I do; I fall really hard, I give it my all, I don’t do things half asked, I stay loyal and faithful but that doesn’t mean I’ll just let you walk all over me. I still know what I deserve and I won’t stay for anything less, I know my worth and I have self respect.

I told you I’m down for something serious, done with games. Notice the last part of the previous sentence? Yes I’ve been in the field so I know how it goes. I’ll try to play fair but if you wanna cheat go ahead, just know that you can’t hit reset once the game’s over.

When you were leaving I didn’t stop you not because I didn’t love you anymore. I let you walk away because I love you enough to not stop you from doing what would make you happier.

See, love for me is seeing someone happy, even if it’s not with me.

You get through the day and then the night starts. All these feelings and thoughts come to you right when you’re alone, in bed and have no one to talk to. Its like another 24hrs on top of the whole day that just passed, only at this moment you’re more awake and conscious when you don’t really want to be.

It’s hard enough to forget the person, let alone the memories you had with them. You can try to use the negative turn out to let it go, but it’s just hard when the positive repeatedly flashes in your head and keeps you holding on.

Sense of responsibility — something I find really attractive and sexy.

How are there pictures up with thousands of notes already of the Royal Wedding when its still going on? Wtheck, just like award shows too! I swear man, Tumblr people are time travelers!

LOL

I’ve posted something similar but it really annoys me when people do this :

I’m gonna go shower, I’ll text you when I’m done.
Light years later, nothing. What the heck, did Ursula turn you into a redhead little mermaid because your ass don’t know how to get back at someone when they’re waiting?

OR..

I’m eating, hit you up when I’m done.
And hours later, not a fucking thing. Did you accidentally tried to swallow your spoon and choke on it, or drown in your soup?

It is cute, that whole arguing whoever likes or misses who more and all that. Trying to measure how much you like each other, all those cutesy stuff. It does get old though, when its all you guys talk about and nothing else. Like you can’t even have a casual conversation. Its almost as if you don’t actually know how to talk to each other.

You wanna have someone you can mess around with too and talk like you do with your friends or a random person. That casual conversation you know?

When convos always go like : I miss you — I miss you more — I like you — I like you more… and then what?
Gets boring and played out after a while.

We all look for something in a person. Someone who can dance or sing. Someone who play sports, someone who can afford to get you a ring. I just want someone who can catch me when I’m falling.